My daughter is 23 and he is a 39-year-old divorcee

Dear Diana,
My 23-year-old daughter has found solace in the company of a 39-year-divorcee. She met him during a shoot, she works for an ad agency. He heads a production house. But the way things are looking, she is keen to marry him. Though he looks younger than his age, the 16 years of age difference is giving me nightmares. His earlier marriage ended in a divorce because he is too headstrong. My daughter has been floored by him and he keeps giving her expensive gifts which I don't approve of. My daughter has not hidden her friendship with the guy. She has not yet discussed marriage with me  but I know that this is what it will be. How do I voice my concerns to my daughter who is my only child?
- Jeroo

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

Dear Jeroo,
I completely understand your fears as a mother. But age is a number and if there is a connect between the two, the age gap then ceases to matter. But still there is that fear when you think he was 16 when she was born! Your daughter appears mature and intelligent and is happy to be with him, so you will have to consider her happiness. Have a talk with both of them. Go forth with an open mind and then draw conclusions. His earlier marriage may have failed but he is now keen to begin life anew. Eyebrows will be raised about the alliance - this is something you will have to be prepared for. Make all your fears clear to your daughter. She has not hidden her relationship and I am sure she will give a patient ear to you and help keep your fears at bay.


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