Dowry demands have no place in 21st-century India

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News media across have reported that a wedding in Bareilly (UP) was called off after the bride refused to go ahead with it. The groom and his family allegedly demanded a car and Rs 20 lakh in cash as dowry just before the wedding. There are reports that the groom was already given expensive gifts at an engagement ceremony, months prior. The demands went on through the run-up to the wedding; these were fulfilled, and this greedy punch came right before the wedding rituals. The groom's family and the man himself allegedly held the bride's family to ransom, asking for ‘gifts' or there would be a walkout. The bride allegedly told the groom and family to go take a walk.

This is the attitude one would like to see not just in women but in their families. The dowry malaise needs to be stamped out with much more aggression. We have the legal framework; we need a change in mindsets to go along with this. Any kind of transformation works only if there is a mindset or attitude change to go along with the laws.

We must also realise that dowry is not just ‘social', it has a criminal element. It may lead to girls actually being ‘killed' at childbirth, which has happened because the family thinks she will be a burden in the future, as they will have to pay a dowry. It percolates right to the root - girls being shunned or being considered lesser, unequal or a burden on the family. Even if dowry is paid, the harassment continues even after marriage, with demands escalating. Every family, every woman and every man must learn to say no to dowry. Blackmail never stops, and it is time to shame those asking for dowry, not somebody whose marriage has been called off because of demands. More power to the resistance against an evil, abhorrent reality.