But, I lied only to protect him...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 25-year-old woman and recently ended a relationship because my boyfriend found out that I had been lying about something. My reason for not telling him the truth was that I knew it would hurt him. I lied to protect him, but he didn't see it that way. I tried to explain that everything I did was for him and our relationship, but he said he couldn't trust me anymore. It has been two months, and he has blocked me everywhere and there is no way for me to contact him. I keep hoping that he will calm down, realise what happened, and forgive me because my intentions were genuine. Should I keep waiting or give up on this, even if I know I did nothing wrong?
Your intentions may have been genuine, but your boyfriend is right to point out that there can be no relationship without trust. He may calm down and come to see things from your point of view, but there is no telling when or if that might happen. He has also cut off all means of communication, without which there can be no dialogue. All you can do is hope, for now, and ask yourself how long you are prepared to wait. Whether he chooses to respond is his prerogative, and there is no telling if that might happen. Give yourself some time and, if nothing changes, work on accepting that this is over. You can forgive yourself if you believe you did nothing wrong, but he needs to come around too.

My boyfriend can't handle any crisis and blows the smallest things up into big problems. I worry that we won't be able to live together because of this. What should I do?
If you know that he can't be relied upon in a crisis, you can choose to walk into a future armed with that knowledge. Staying with him depends upon knowing and accepting this aspect of his personality. Ask yourself if you can live with that.

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