Can’t reconcile with her past...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am trying to get over the fact that my girlfriend had a very promiscuous past and it is difficult. I had just one relationship before we met, while she has been with a lot of people, and even admitted to a lot of casual affairs. I want to be okay with it because I know she is within her rights to do whatever she wants, and because it is her past, but I struggle with the idea. I think it's because I feel as if she is going to leave me too, and then add me to her list of casual lovers. How do I get over this and feel more secure in my relationship with her? I love her a lot and want this to work.
It's okay to feel conflicted, or jealous, or not understand her past. You are both individuals with minds of your own, and your own approaches and ideas about relationships. It may make sense to focus on the fact that she is with you, instead of looking at who she has been with, because the present always matters more. If she wants to leave you, she will, and there will be nothing you can do about it. Why not respect her decisions, accept that she has a right to make them, and think about why you wanted to be with her in the first place? The insecurity will go away on its own when you both feel as if you want the same things from this relationship. Give it time.

My boyfriend is more extroverted than me and whenever he meets my family, he ends up getting along with them a lot better than I do. Is this a problem?
Everything can be a problem if you choose to let it become one. Him getting along with your family should be celebrated, given that you are already related to them and that not every family accepts a new member into their circle easily. Think about the positive aspects for a change.

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