Don’t want her to go back to her ex!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few days ago, my girlfriend told me she was thinking of breaking up because her ex-boyfriend had reached out to her and asked her to reconsider getting back to him. They had a very nasty break-up a little over six months ago, and she and I began dating soon after that happened. I don't think she is unhappy with me, but I have often had the feeling that she is with me only as a rebound because she wanted to forget about him. I don't really matter to her as a serious long-term partner. So, when she told me this, I wasn't completely surprised. I still want to protect her from him though, because I think he is a bad person and he hurt her very badly. She won't listen to me if I say this because she will assume I'm saying it out of jealousy to prevent her from breaking up. I only want the best for her though, and can't stand the idea of her going back to someone so horrible. What can I do to prevent this? I don't mind if she breaks up with me as long as she doesn't repeat her mistakes with him.
You can't do anything about changing her mind because she is entitled to feeling the way she does and will only learn the consequences of her decisions by living them. If you have something to say to her, you should say it irrespective of whether she misunderstands your intentions, because it may help her to know that there is someone on her side ready to support her if things don't work out. If she chooses to stay with you, it has to be for the right reasons, and maybe she needs distance to obtain a sense of perspective. She is an adult, as is her ex-boyfriend, and we only learn through our mistakes. Accept her decision, tell her you're always ready to speak to her when and if she needs someone to lean on, and hope for the best.

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