Don’t want to wed till we’ve dated...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I turn 30 years old this year and my parents have been forcing me to think about marriage. I haven't had a serious relationship that allows me to feel comfortable with the idea. My current boyfriend and I have been together for six months, and I have always ended my previous relationships before they hit the one-year mark. It's not as if I am picky or difficult to be with, but the people I tend to date are deliberately casual to prevent me from becoming too attached. I adopted this approach because it allowed me to focus on things like my studies and career, which is now stable. I know I am ready for a mature relationship but can't jump into marriage without being with someone for some period of time. Is this wise?
It's your life and your decision entirely. You sound as if you know exactly what you want, and also have clarity on your priorities and expectations. This is great because it puts you in an advantageous position, allowing you to take control of what you want the next phase of your life to be like. There is no manual that says people who marry at 30 have happier marriages than those who marry at 32, so I suggest you take your time, find someone you really want to spend the rest of your life with, and then take that step. Your parents want you to be happy, presumably, and will naturally be happy when you are.

How do I convince my girlfriend to treat my parents with respect? She is always polite but says disrespectful things when they're not around. She says I am overreacting. Should I end this relationship?
If her behaviour upsets you as much as it does, you have a right to end this. It may make more sense to tell her where you're coming from though. If she equates disrespecting your parents with disrespecting you, she may finally stop.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com