Dr love with mid-day: He has suddenly become distant...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend has suddenly grown very distant from me and hasn't given me a reason. I haven't seen him in two weeks and whenever I ask if he wants to meet, he comes up with flimsy excuses. I don't want to push him into doing something he doesn't want to, but it feels as if I am not being treated with respect at this point. He knows he can message me and assume I will turn up, and this only makes it easier for him to take me for granted. I love him a lot and try to give him the benefit of doubt because I think he likes his space, but this isn't good for me because I am always made to take second place. How should I deal with this if I want us to be in a long-term relationship?
No long-term relationship can survive without mutual respect, and it doesn't seem as if you're getting it. Your boyfriend may need space because everyone does, but it can't be taken without permission or your acknowledgment. If you feel as if you are being taken for granted, and don't insist on that changing, you are redrawing boundaries that will define the future of your relationship. Insist on a meeting, explain what you're dealing with, and point out that an inability or refusal to change will have an adverse impact on your individual plans for the future. Putting this off will only allow it to happen again.

Is it wrong to have a close friendship with a married guy? I feel guilty without knowing why because he says his wife doesn't know about us. We're not having an affair, but I still feel as if it's wrong.
If someone isn't comfortable with telling their partner about you, it's a problem because they aren't being honest with someone important in their life. They may have valid reasons, but if you don't know what they are and don't feel comfortable in this situation, you should first ask for an explanation.

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