Dr love with mid-day: How do I tell him I like someone else?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been in a long-term relationship with a guy who lives in another country and only sees me once every other year. This was not a problem at first because we had a plan to marry and eventually live together. He's coming to see me in a few months, but I think I have fallen for someone else and don't know what to do. It's not as if I don't love my boyfriend, but the relationship doesn't feel real after all these years of living apart. It feels like a habit, not something that brings me real joy. The person I like is real and loves spending time with me. I also feel as if I know him better than I know my boyfriend because we interact in real life, not on WhatsApp. What should I tell my boyfriend?
You should tell him the truth because your feelings matter and what you're going through affects you both. There's nothing wrong with falling for someone given how much easier a relationship is when you aren't living apart but making a decision about what to do requires clarity of thought and honesty. Tell your boyfriend how you feel, discuss what you want from a relationship and what needs aren't being met, and ask him what he thinks. He also deserves to know if you feel differently about this relationship because it's also his life and future on the line.

Should I try alcohol just because my boyfriend thinks I should? I don't want to, but I am also happy to try something if it makes him happy.
Do what you think is right for you and try to establish boundaries when it comes to personal space and what you want for yourself. There's nothing wrong with stepping outside your comfort zone but do it for the right reasons and learn to say no if there's something you're not comfortable with. If this relationship is built on mutual respect, your boyfriend will respect your decision as well as your boundaries.

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