Dr love with mid-day: I am scared to even speak to her!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How can I approach an attractive girl if I am always afraid of being rejected? I have been thinking about saying something for months, but the possibility of her rejecting me outright stops me. I come across as a nervous person around her which is weird because I'm not afraid around other people. I just turn into a wreck around her because of how strongly I feel about her. Should I write a letter instead? I just don't want her to think I'm a coward who can't be direct about my feelings.
Yes, she can reject you outright because that is her prerogative, but not saying anything doesn't help you in any way. It's okay to be nervous and afraid because it's hard to put oneself in a position of vulnerability, but there's nothing wrong with taking small steps and simply asking her out. Consider the suggestion of coffee and think of it as testing the waters. If she isn't interested, accept that decision without turning it into a rejection of who you are as an individual. Everyone should be allowed to choose whether they want to spend time with someone or not and looking at it from that perspective will make it easier for you to accept that she is someone with a mind of her own. Overthinking this only makes it bigger and more influential in your life than it ought to be.

Why does my girlfriend get jealous over nothing even when she knows I love her and am committed to her? If she can't trust me, how is our relationship going to evolve? I am constantly trying to pacify her which is tiring.
You can and should approach this with patience, because it stems from some insecurity or unresolved issue that shows you both need to work on this relationship. You may think love is enough, but this is a sign that she's not in the same place as you, so take it seriously and address what she's saying until she feels more secure.

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