Dr love with mid-day: I think I may have blown my chance!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am painfully shy and believe this has blown my chances with a guy I have a huge crush on. He was at a party a few days ago and we began chatting, but I simply couldn't hold my end of the conversation. I am pretty sure he was interested in what I was saying, until I shut down and moved away. I did it because I just couldn't chat with him any longer. I wish I could go back in time and change everything, but this is how I am and I have been trying to accept it. I don't know how to tell him that I am capable of more and wish we could just go on a date. What should I do?
There's nothing wrong with being shy, and social anxiety affects more people than you think. If you can't chat, try writing down how you feel. If you want to say something to this person, try being honest and hope for the best. He may not respond, but you have nothing to lose because there hasn't been any communication anyway. Don't be too hard on yourself because building confidence takes time. If this is someone who is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will take the time and effort and will acknowledge how difficult it is for you. If he doesn't, ask yourself how any kind of relationship can be built without that kind of empathy.

A girl I like turned me down a few months ago but has been chatting with me a lot over the past few weeks. I think she wants me to ask her out again, but I am afraid because a second rejection will be too humiliating. How do I know what she wants if she doesn't say something specific?
You don't, so the only way out is to wait for clarity or take the risk of asking her out again. You can always wait until you feel more comfortable, or until she decides to be forthright.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com