Dr love with mid-day: Wondering if he is seeing other women

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How long should I wait for someone before I decide that there is nothing going to happen between us? I have been telling this guy about my feelings for a few months, but he refuses to respond with anything other than vague statements about wanting to see how this goes. I am tired. We go on dates, but it never feels like a date because we don't talk about this big issue. He says he wants a relationship, but he isn't ready to have one with me. I don't even know if he's just meeting me or multiple women at the same time. I like him a lot which is the only reason I allow him to get away with this behaviour. Should I just stop seeing him?
Asking for time is okay if someone wants to get to know another person before committing to a relationship. However, if it starts to tip over into what feels like disrespect, or an inability to communicate, you have to ask yourself if this is worth it. You may like someone a lot and may feel as if it's okay to wait until they have some clarity, but this waiting should be accompanied by genuine growth in the form of communication. If he can't articulate what he's thinking, or whether he is dating multiple people while trying to make up his mind, you are doing yourself a disservice. Stand up for yourself and ask him for a clear response. If there isn't one, and he can't come up with an explanation, you should reconsider your infatuation.

My girlfriend fantasises about one of her ex-boyfriends and says I am unnecessarily jealous because I told her this bothers me. Is she right?
No, she's gaslighting you because you're entitled to feeling the way you feel and the onus of addressing your concern is on her. If she isn't happy and is focused on her ex while being in a relationship with you, there is no future here because she isn't committing to one.

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