Dr love with mid-day: Men are threatened by my intellect!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been single for a year and it's starting to feel as if guys don't want to be with me if they think I'm smarter than them. When I dumb myself down, they take me more seriously and pay me more attention. The minute I say something that makes them feel intellectually threatened, they stop asking me out. My friends think I'm being difficult, but they want me to pretend to be someone I'm not. Should I listen to them just to break this spell of being single? It may make me miserable but at least I won't feel alone. What should I do?
If you're intelligent enough to understand that this isn't your problem, you will also be able to accept that you're probably meeting the wrong people. If someone feels threatened before they get into a relationship, what makes you think it will last when your mask slips? Pretending to be someone you're not only has the potential to change your situation temporarily. You have to weigh what you are giving up and what you think you're getting in return. If the people you're currently dating are not appreciative of your intelligence, keep meeting new ones until you find someone. The wait will be worth it, and you will be in a better position to manage that relationship.

A guy I dated three weeks ago hasn't asked me out on a second date. At the same time, he texts daily and we have conversations for hours. I don't know what to make of it. I don't want to sound desperate and ask him out.
If you are chatting daily and can't have that conversation, do you think the problem will resolve itself? If you have a question, ask it, because it sets the tone for whatever you hope will happen. Sometimes, people need time to figure out where things stand but being able to articulate that is important. To ignore how you feel about this may lead to unnecessary speculation, so why not address it?

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