Ex said I wasn’t ambitious enough

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few months ago, my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was not confident enough as a person. She said I was incapable of being successful beyond a point because I couldn't navigate my personal and professional lives in a way that matched how she functioned. She was a senior person at a bank, and I have been a mid-level manager for years now, so there was always an income gap between us. The money didn't affect our relationship, but I think she got to a point where she felt as if I was not ambitious enough to be with someone like her. I have lost confidence in myself since we broke up and don't know if I can date again because this may always be an issue. How do I cope with it?
Being ambitious is a personal decision and you alone can set a benchmark that works for you. Some people want to be Vice Presidents at multinational companies, others want to find a balance that allows them to spend more quality time at home. There is no right or wrong approach, and your relationship ended because you were with someone who had a different set of expectations, not because there was something wrong with you. It's okay to avoid dating for a while because it may take you some time to move past this episode, but it's important to tell yourself that a successful relationship is based on finding a person who wants the same things you do. It's only a matter of time before you meet that person, provided you make the effort to go out again.

I verbally abuse my boyfriend, which he is okay with but which my friends think is awful on my part. I can't help myself, but I don't see a problem if he's okay with it. Are my friends right?
Abusing anyone, recognising it as abuse, and continuing with it because you can't help yourself are all signs of problematic behaviour. Try and introspect more.

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