Have kept a secret from him...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year, but I have not been very open with him about my personal life. I have a medical condition he doesn't know anything about, and I am struggling with how to tell him. I didn't say anything before because I didn't want him to think I was someone he would have to take care of in the future, but he loves me a lot and we are thinking of taking our relationship to the next level, which makes it harder for me to not say anything. I can't avoid this conversation, but I am also afraid because I don't know how he will react. He may think I have been misleading him or, if he doesn't, he may simply decide to leave me because he doesn't want the responsibility of being with someone who has a chronic ailment. I feel stuck and don't know what to do. Please help.
The future of your relationship depends upon openness and honesty. Your boyfriend needs to know about anything that has a potential impact upon his life, and you need to be able to open up if you want to build trust and improve lines of communication. To not say anything is not a choice, irrespective of how he chooses to react. Give him to time to process anything you have to say, be willing to answer any questions, and accept his decision. If this is a relationship he values as much as you do, the future will be about finding a solution rather than running away from any potential problem.

I don't trust my girlfriend anymore because she wasn't around for me when I needed her most. Do we have a future together?
Have you had a conversation about this with her, and given her a chance to explain, after telling her how you feel? It doesn't have to mean the end of your relationship if you can both talk about individual expectations and how you want to meet them.

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