He despises my best friend!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend despises my best friend which is a huge problem for me because I can't go out with them together. Things were fine at the start until he overheard her say something mildly negative about him. She meant well because she has my best interests at heart, but he took it the wrong way and assumed she doesn't like him. I have tried to sort this out many times, but he refuses to change his mind about her and it's breaking my heart. My friend has apologised to him, and he says he has accepted her apology, but he still refuses to meet her if I suggest dinner together. I don't know if I can be with someone who won't accept my closest friend. I love my boyfriend, but I can't sacrifice my friend to save this relationship. Am I making the right decision?
Forgiveness that isn't unconditional isn't really forgiveness at all. You shouldn't have to choose between people who are important in your life just because they can't get along. As an adult, your boyfriend owes it to you to get over his anger and accept that this friend is important to you. If he can't do that, he isn't giving you the respect you deserve. If this were the other way around, and you were to reject someone important in his life, would this relationship have a future? You can
always compartmentalise your love life and your friendship, of course, but it's unfair and may be exhausting in the long run. Tell him why this can't work without him moving past this misunderstanding. If he can't, you will know that this relationship isn't as solid as you may like to think it is.

I like my boyfriend but am also curious about his best friend. Does that make me a bad person?
There's nothing wrong with curiosity, but maybe you should think about what you want out of your current relationship and why you find someone else more interesting. It may be a sign.

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