He is still in touch with his ex!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend and I have been together for three months and I just found out that he has been in touch with his ex-girlfriend all this time. When I asked him about it, he said he wanted to stay friends with her, but I have overheard them chat and it seems to me as if he is trying to get back with her or convince her to give him another chance. I don't know why he has to lie to me, but I am starting to feel as if I am some kind of back-up plan in case she doesn't take him back. I am not that attached to him because our relationship is new, but I don't want to make any effort to get closer to him until he is clear about what he wants. Should I break up with him and ask him to contact me only when he is sure about us?
If there is no emotional attachment between you two, you should ask yourself what you want out of this relationship and why you choose to be with him. If he is lying, or not being open about his reasons for wanting to be with you, this is not going to work because it isn't being done with honesty. Taking time off may be a good thing, but getting back should depend upon you both coming together with clear ideas about what you want. If you don't accept his reasons even then, and this episode with his ex isn't resolved to your satisfaction, it may make more sense to assume there is no future here.

Should I listen to what my family and friends say about my girlfriend, or go with my instinct and my own feelings? They don't think she's right for me, but they don't know her like I do.
Your relationship depends upon you and your partner alone. Family and friends may mean well, but these are your feelings, and the decision should be yours alone.

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