He prefers his friends over me!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend always believes his friends come first, no matter what I am doing or how I am feeling. He has been with them for over 20 years and has been dating me for just over a year, so he justifies it by saying they have been part of his life for a longer period and deserve more attention than I do. I don't see any connection between the two things and have told him that his decision to prioritise them over me is disrespectful. He doesn't care and has asked me to end the relationship if I don't like the way he treats me. I love him and don't want to lose him. What should I do?
He has been clear about how little you matter to him, and how your presence or absence in his life means nothing. You love him despite this, which tacitly condones his behaviour even though he is being openly disrespectful. Loving someone is great but loving and respecting yourself first is a lesson that takes time to learn. Think about that and then decide if this is a person worth being with. Priorities reflect the importance a person allocates someone else. If you aren't as important to him as he is to you, what do you hope to gain from this relationship in the future?

I want to tell a girl I know that I like her a lot but am not sure I should because I don't know her very well and may have the wrong idea of what she is like. If I ask her out for coffee, and she misunderstands me, it may put me in an awkward situation. How do I get to know her better without going on a date?
You can always be upfront about coffee not being a date, because millions of people manage to do this perfectly well without slipping into a romantic relationship. You are under no obligations, and neither is she, so why overthink this and blow it out of proportion?

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