He struggles with his temper!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend struggles to cope with his emotions, and this causes a lot of problems for both of us. I am a calm person and don't react to anything instantly, while he loses his mind at the slightest issue and always blows everything up out of proportion. His family and friends have told him about this, and he is aware that he needs to work on it, but he refuses to speak to a counsellor and get professional help. I know he can't sort this out on his own because he has been like this since college, and it has cost him a lot of friendships in the past. If it doesn't change, I am afraid I won't be able to hold on to this relationship for much longer. How do I convince him that this is serious and that he needs to do something?
You should consider an intervention between him, his family and friends, so he gets a better sense of how serious this is. Individual voices are sometimes brushed aside, and understanding the scope of this and how it is affecting every aspect of his life may have a more sobering effect. As for his refusal to seek help, that will not happen until he is willing to acknowledge the severity of this and is ready to prioritise what matters in his life. Tell him what he stands to lose and, if you are important to him, he will have to put in the work to avoid losing you.

Why can't my partner commit to a long-term relationship with me after three years? I don't know what he is waiting for, and it is very frustrating.
Have you asked him directly? If he isn't sure, ask if he needs time and space to figure this out. Give yourself a waiting period to understand by when you need him to arrive at a place of understanding. If he doesn't decide by then, you should also consider the possibility that walking away may be the only option.

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