His expectations are too high...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend recently met with a tragedy in his family and has very little time for me. I understand why he can't meet me much and acknowledge that someone close to him is very ill. I think he expects me to spend more time with his family, but I feel as if it's asking for too much. We have only been together for around nine months or so, and while I love him a lot, I can't sacrifice my personal life and put everything else on hold to help his family. I don't want to feel like I am a bad person just because I have other commitments. He makes me feel as if he will end this relationship if I don't do this. What should I do?
You should stick to what you believe. Your boyfriend is entitled to expect more from you but if you are sure that this isn't something you are comfortable with, making any sacrifice will take you to the same place you are at now, which is one of resentment. Tell him why you are prepared to meet him halfway but, if this isn't enough for him, it may be selfishness on his part too. Sacrifice is sometimes essential in a relationship but only helps both partners if it is unconditional. If you feel as if you are being emotionally blackmailed into doing something, your relationship won't work. Don't let guilt force you into doing anything you don't want to, because there are always unforeseen consequences.

What do I do about my partner who says she may not be able to resist a good-looking man if he approaches her while she is on holiday?
If she can't resist someone, she is admitting that she can't be faithful. If that is important to you, it's obvious that you are both treating this relationship on very different terms. What she is also saying is that she is capable of behaviour that will inadvertently cause you pain. Ask yourself if you are okay with that.

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