His family seems hard to live with

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 28-year-old woman and recently got engaged to a man who is two years older. We get along fine, but I get the feeling that his parents are difficult to be with. There are frequent arguments in the family, even when I am around, and I know he struggles to maintain a good relationship with them. We will be living with them until we can find the means to move out, and that causes me a lot of stress. My fiancé doesn't speak up or confront his parents, and I believe he is just too weak to stand his ground or even speak up for me if there is a problem. This worries me because it means I will have to fend for myself in the event of something bad happening. Is this a deal breaker? Should I end this relationship to prevent any possible issues the minute I get married?
You're right to be concerned about this, given that you will have to be with his family for a while, but it is also something you should be discussing with your fiancé. If you are making a lifelong commitment to be with this person, and are now considering ending the relationship, it is a sign that you haven't been able to establish any lines of communication with him. Marriage, like any relationship, can come with all kinds of challenges that are better handled when two people work together. If you have concerns, he should know about them, and the onus of reassuring you lies with him. If he can't, and if he isn't taking your concerns as seriously as he should, that should tell you more about the kind of person he is. Ending a relationship is a big decision, and the more you know about your partner, the easier it will be for you to think about a future with or without him. You have nothing to lose by being honest because this is about your life and well-being.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com