His kids won’t let us be together...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 47-year old widow and recently began a relationship with a man who is two years older. His marriage ended a few years ago and we get along very well. He is considering moving in with me soon, but his children have been putting a lot of pressure on him and are trying to convince him to end this relationship. I don't know why they feel this way because I have never met them, but this has begun to take a toll on us, and he is starting to feel as if he can't fight them forever. We love each other a lot and I know he wants to be with me, but I can't change his mind if his children won't let him be happy. How can I fix this?
The only way is to try and meet his children to get a sense of their point of view. Do they have a distorted idea about your intentions? Do they feel as if their father is betraying his ex-wife and their mother? These are expected complications because families sometimes exert a sense of possessiveness when a new person appears on their horizons. Ask your partner to give you more time and take things slowly until his children get used to the idea that you are important to him. Maybe you can consider postponing the idea of him moving in for a while, until you have managed to speak to his children. If they refuse to communicate, it will still give him time to put his side of the story across and tell them how he feels about you. Don't give up yet.

I want to break up with my boyfriend because I think I am in love with someone else. How do I know if I am making a huge mistake?
If you are interested in someone else, it's probably obvious that you aren't as interested in your boyfriend. It makes sense to gauge how you feel about your current relationship before considering another one.

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