I’d like to date more people...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 38-year old divorced woman and have been going out with a man three years older who is also divorced. We like each other's company and have been taking our time getting to know each other. We don't want to rush into anything and haven't even spoken of a formal relationship, but I think we both know we like each other enough to get into one. The thing is, I want to be with someone, but I also want to try and explore the idea of just dating as many people as possible because it feels as if this may be my only chance before I get older. Is this a bad idea? Am I setting myself up for failure? I don't want to tell this man about it because I don't know how he will react, or if he will simply decide it is not worth the hassle of meeting me. What should I do?
It's your life and you are under no pressure to do anything you don't want to do. It may make more sense to simply tell him what's on your mind and let your cards fall where they do, because honesty is the only way you will find a relationship that is worth holding on to. There is no one who can predict success or failure with people because they have minds of their own, so to prevent yourself from dating doesn't solve anything. There's nothing wrong with dating as many people as possible because it gives you a better understanding not just of who you are, but of what you want out of life. When you understand yourself and your expectations better, any relationship you choose to get into will be easier to manage because of your self-awareness. Talk to this man about your intentions and, if he has a problem with it, the sooner you both know, the easier it will be. You may also be surprised by his ability to understand, so why assume the worst just yet?

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com