I don’t want to rush into anything

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I want to have more physical intimacy with my boyfriend but, at the same time, I don't want to rush into things. We have been dating for three months, and I know we are both interested in getting more comfortable with each other, but I can't bring myself to talk about it because he may think I am being prudish. Should I just ignore how I am feeling and go with what he suggests or meet him less often until I am ready. I don't want to ruin this relationship because I really like him a lot, which is why I am being so careful. What should I do?
You should take your time and be open about it because that is what the foundation of a solid relationship is about. Physical intimacy is crucial, but it can't be rushed and you owe it to yourself as well as your boyfriend to do what you want when you are comfortable. Avoiding him isn't a solution, nor is assuming he will think of you as prudish. If you want to build a relationship with him, start by telling him how you feel. If he respects you and gives you time without judging you, it will be easier for you both to start trusting each other. This will also have a positive impact on your sense of intimacy, because being emotionally open is a great precursor to enjoying the physical presence of a partner. Don't be afraid of what he might think because you don't know that yet.

How does one tell a partner that they are not satisfied? If I say this to my wife, she may end this marriage or ask me to consider counselling, so I just accept things the way they are and I am always miserable.
You have made a life-long commitment with this person and owe it to her as well as yourself to try and build a happy relationship together. If you can't tell her what's on your mind, you have a problem.

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