I know I am not his type, but...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

When should one stop thinking about a crush? It has been two years since I fell in love with someone and nothing has happened to change the situation. He doesn't know how I feel and I am no closer to getting to know him any better. There is no indication that he even thinks about me even though we chat quite often and live in the same locality. If I ask him out to coffee, I know he will agree, but it will be purely friendly and there will be nothing to talk about without me betraying how I feel. I am not his type, and I am aware of this, but I can't get over him and keep asking myself if I should embarrass myself by telling him the truth even if this hurts me. I just want to put it behind me.
You have all the facts before you and can either accept what you think is real or go through the motions of having this conversation if it makes it easier for you to move on. Either way, the work will come from you because you have to come to terms with how things really are. This isn't about embarrassment or humiliation because there's nothing wrong with liking someone, so try approaching this differently and ask yourself if you will feel better with him knowing about your feelings. Not being able to be with someone is painful, but there will come a time when you start to accept what's real and move on.

Should I tell someone that I am in love with her despite knowing that she has a boyfriend?
Do you have any reason to believe that she will abandon her boyfriend and accept you? If not, you're living in a fantasy and opening yourself up to pain. Ask yourself what you hope to accomplish. Nothing can stop you from speaking to her about this, but you should do it with an open mind, knowing that life doesn't play out like a movie.

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