I’m not sure about our relationship...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 25-year-old woman in a relationship with a guy who is five years older. We have been dating for a year or so, but I don't feel as if my relationship with him is moving on in any significant way. There is no depth to it. We meet once a week and go on dates, but there is no deeper connection that is being forged. When I try and get closer to him by asking him about his plans, or his past, he is evasive, and I think it's because he doesn't take me very seriously. He treats me like a younger person who will not be in his life permanently which hurts because I genuinely love him. I worry that if this attitude doesn't change, he won't think of trying to make this relationship stronger, which will eventually lead to us breaking up. What can I do to prevent this from happening?
The onus of preventing this from happening isn't on you because relationships involve two people who are both pulling in the same direction. If you feel strongly about this person, you should point out that his behaviour is creating a distance. If he can't articulate how he feels and doesn't express interest in getting closer or opening up, you should also ask him a few direct questions about whether he wants this to work. If you both have a different set of expectations and ideas about what a future looks like, the sooner you know what these expectations are, the easier it will be to make adjustments or prepare for the fact that this is not as solid as you would like it to be.

How do I get someone's respect after getting physically intimate with them too soon?
Assuming this intimacy was mutual, why should you be the one trying to get respect? If they don't offer you that respect of their own accord, this is a red flag because it implies a position of moral superiority that should not exist.

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