I only like him as a friend...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

There is a guy I really like, but in a platonic way. We have been friends for a long time and get along really well. He loves spending time with me, too, but the problem is I sometimes sense that he is flirting with me. I don't want to date him and want this friendship to grow stronger because he is the kind of person I want in my life. If I say this to him, I am worried that it may upset him or create some distance between us. On the other hand, if I remain silent and he continues to flirt with me, he may think that I am just leading him on. What is the best way for me to address this?
Clarity and direct speech are always the best way even if you believe this may cause some awkwardness. You are assuming he isn't mature enough to handle a conversation about feelings, but that maturity and ability to be open and direct is critical for any kind of relationship to evolve and grow stronger. If you want this person in your life, you simply have to be vocal about it. Shying away from anything because you assume he will take it the wrong way is exactly the kind of behaviour that may lead to misunderstandings or misinterpretation.

I have been married for around eight years and don't like having sex with my partner. I know she doesn't enjoy it either and this causes us to drift apart. We aren't doing anything about it because we are getting complacent, but I worry that if this continues, we will just be like two strangers living under the same roof. How do I fix this?
It takes two people to make any relationship work and, sometimes, one of you may have to do the heavy lifting. I suggest you start by telling your partner why this bothers you. Share your fears and accept that you may both need the help of a counsellor.

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