I want her to really like me!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I think I have been friend-zoned by someone who knows I like her and wants to avoid having any conversation about it. How do I change this and get her to start seeing me in a different light? She and I work together, and I have dropped a lot of hints about wanting to go out with her. Should I keep trying or just accept that she isn't interested?
If you have been dropping hints and she has clearly defined what she hopes the nature of this relationship will be like, continuing to push the point doesn't accomplish anything. It only reveals your inability to accept her decision or your doubts about her intelligence as an adult capable of making her own mind up. She wants you as a friend for a reason and is making it obvious so you don't have to embarrass yourself by reiterating what she already knows. She is giving you a way out, and you can choose to accept it if you value her as a person and want her in your life.

My boyfriend and I have been in an on-again off-again relationship for three years. We have our differences, but we also have a lot in common and tend to miss each other when we aren't together. I want some stability here because it's hurting me but can't seem to get to a place where we both feel secure enough to accept that this is a strong, long-term relationship. How do I stop this cycle?
If you are struggling with this, it's possible that he is too, because it takes two people to get into this situation. It's obvious that there are unresolved issues that prevent you both from coming to a place of compromise, so why not try airing those problems and not committing to a relationship unless you can both deal with them? Take it slow, ask him if he wants a long-term relationship in the first place, and then talk about what you both have to do.

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