I want to break up with him now!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 27-year-old and have just gone back to someone I used to date a year ago. We kept in touch after the relationship ended, and our conversations
led us to believe that we still had feelings for each other. I wanted to give it another chance because he felt the same way but, since we got back together, I think my own feelings have transformed. He is nicer, more mature, more accepting of who I am, but it feels as if something shifted within me during the period I was by myself and I can't seem to get to that place of acceptance with him anymore. I know this is my problem, not his, but I am thinking of ending this again and don't know if I am making a huge mistake. Should I just ask for time and go on a break instead?
There's nothing wrong with your feelings for someone changing because we all evolve and what you felt a year ago doesn't necessarily have to stay the same. It's great that you can identify how this relationship is different though, because it allows you to open up about your current state if you choose to. You can ask for time and even suggest a break, but it may also help to tell your partner that something has shifted within you. Sometimes, people who know us well have insights we may not have, and he may be able to talk about what has happened. If he wants this to work and is willing to give you space until you have a clearer understanding of where things stand, you may both be able to come back to a place of harmony that is stronger and more fulfilling. Either way, try and think about what you are feeling and why, and what you believe has changed during your time apart. Ask questions about how he feels, tell him what's on your mind, and work on this together for a while before arriving at any decision.

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