Is he afraid of my medical issues?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I was recently diagnosed with a medical condition that requires extended treatment for a few years. Since that diagnosis, my boyfriend of two years has begun to behave a little coldly. He hasn't said anything specific, but I am starting to get the sense that he isn't comfortable being around me because he is afraid of what my illness may demand of him. I don't know if he is worried about having to accompany me on doctor's visits, or if he is worried that this may affect our ability to spend more time together, but I am definitely getting a sense that not everything is okay with him. I don't know what to make of it and am not sure how to broach the subject with him either, because it is sensitive, and I am already stressed about my health. How do I deal with this?
It's not uncommon for a partner to struggle with a situation like this, presumably because they are often as unsure as the patient about what happens next. It's possible that he hasn't come to terms with this yet, and doesn't know what is expected of him. Everything you are worried about is conjecture at this point, and not the most sensible way of looking at things. I suggest you give this time to settle down. Allow yourself, as well as him, to better understand what this means for both of you. Health issues will make different demands from you both, and neither of you will know what those demands are until you experience them for a while. Give it time and space, and then broach the topic if you believe he has something he wants to say. If this is a serious ailment, it also makes sense to seek therapy, because that can help you both get a handle on what this means for the present and future of your relationship. Focus on your health for now, because that is more important than anything else. Re-evaluate your priorities until you feel stronger.

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