My friends can’t seem to like him!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 30-year-old woman and have been dating someone my age who got divorced five years ago. He got married young and it didn't work out, but my friends keep telling me to watch for red flags because they can't understand why someone would get divorced at 25. I don't know what to say to them because my boyfriend has been clear about why his marriage didn't last. I think it's admirable that he and his ex-wife decided to end it when they did rather than lose more of their time trying to fix what was broken. My friends don't see it this way and they are always wary whenever I meet them with my boyfriend. They don't fully accept him, and I think it's their prejudice towards divorced people that gets in the way of their trying to get to know him better. He doesn't say anything, but I know their behaviour hurts him. How can I change this?
Prejudices can only be unlearnt when people want to evolve. A closed mind isn't going to see things from your point of view. What can make a difference is how you approach your relationship and make it stronger, because that bond will be noticed. Time is your ally because the more your friends see how comfortable you are with your boyfriend, the higher the chances of them changing their minds about him. For now, try and accept that they mean well, but also that they don't understand your relationship and don't need to. As long as you and your boyfriend are okay, and can talk about this, you will find a way of moving beyond this issue.

How do I tell my family that my fiancé and I don't feel like marrying each other anymore?
There is no easy way except for you to come clean, be honest about your reasons, and trust that they have your best interests at heart. A lifelong commitment has to be taken seriously, so put yourself and your future first.

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