‘They say he’s cheating on me’

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been engaged to a guy for two months after six months of dating and was recently told by a few friends that he has been cheating on me. I am completely heartbroken and don't know whom to trust. I don't know if these allegations are being cooked up to derail my marriage and am afraid to confront him because he may think I am easily swayed by rumours, but it is eating into me, and I am constantly worried that I am making a mistake. I don't want to get married if I don't feel secure and don't know what to do. If I break this engagement without proof, I will cause my family pain. If I ask for proof, my fiancé may break this engagement. How do I resolve this?
If you have doubts, irrespective of whether you believe your friends or not, you should speak to someone you trust about them. Breaking an engagement may cause your parents pain but seeing you in a marriage where you aren't secure or stable will be harder for them to accept. Asking for proof may seem like an insult, but you can always ask the people telling you about this to back their claims. It takes time to build trust in any relationship, and six months isn't necessarily enough for you to accept your fiancé unconditionally. The only way to do this is through openness and honesty though, and that means being able to have difficult conversations too. If he ends an engagement without trying to understand or resolve something that is bothering you, it should tell you a lot about his approach to marriage because this may be only the first of many challenges you will face together. Ask your friends for proof, speak to your family about your fears, and don't allow fear to get in the way of getting to a place where you are comfortable with making a life-altering decision. This is your life on the line.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com