Not sure I want it to get serious...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have recently begun dating someone who used to be a friend. We didn't plan on it happening, but after going out a few times, it felt like we could give it a chance. It has been a few months now and I am just nervous about getting physically intimate with him. It's not like it's a problem, but I also feel as if I want to gauge whether this is a relationship with some stability or future. Until now, it's still casual, as if we are both trying to find our way to something. I don't want to get physically intimate and then realise that this has no future but, at the same time, it is only if I commit to getting closer to him that this will evolve. How do I navigate this without ruining things so early?
This isn't about ruining anything as much as it is about you feeling comfortable. You have the right to take as much time as you need before you commit to anything, and your partner has that right too. There are other ways for any relationship to evolve, and emotional honesty is one of them. If this is on your mind, talk about it, because that conversation will also tell you a lot about how he sees this and whether you are on the same page. Physical intimacy is important, of course, but only when two people feel as if it's what they both want. Meet him more often, try getting to know him better, ask personal questions, and you may find that getting closer is often about communication and openness more than anything else.

How do I win my girlfriend's heart completely? She loves me but I want to be the most important person in her life.
Ask yourself why you need to be the most important person and whether this is really about her or your need for some validation. If you love someone, you should express it without hoping for some sort of award in return.

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