Saw a side of him I don’t like at all

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend and I recently went on a holiday, where I was shocked to discover sides of him I had never seen before. We have been together for almost a year but have never gone on a trip together, so this was a surprise. He turned out to be very much of a control freak, wanting to manage every aspect of our holiday from the hotel to what time we should have breakfast and where we should go sightseeing. I jokingly mentioned this to him one evening and he stormed off saying I should have volunteered to do the job if I wanted things to go my way. I didn't say anything, but the whole thing has left a bad taste in my mouth. We got back a few weeks ago, but I still can't get that image of him out of my mind. I'm not sure this is the kind of person I want to be with, even though he's great to be with now that we're back. What should I do?
The whole purpose of going away and spending time together is to let you both discover facets of yourselves that may otherwise stay hidden. It's great that you got to see these sides of him because it teaches you something about who he is. What you want to do next depends upon how badly you want this relationship to work, and whether his presence matters in your life going forward. If it does, you may have to accept that we all have some flaws. There are good sides and possibly awful sides that are hidden, and to find someone without those problems is impossible. It's also possible that he may have found things about you that didn't go with the image he had of you before your holiday. For now, I suggest you talk about how you feel, and why you think he is a control freak. Allow him to consider your perspective and give him a chance to talk about what he discovered too.

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