Should I reconnect with old friends?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How do I set things right with old friends who are no longer close to me? We didn't have any falling out and just drifted apart with time because we were all doing different things. I know I didn't play my part the way I should have, but neither did they. It's sad that what used to be a tight group no longer connects at any substantial level. We are reduced to wishing each other on birthdays, and that's it. Should I call them all and tell them how much I miss them? If they don't reciprocate, I will just feel foolish which is why I don't know if this is something even worth saving. What do I do?
Do what you think is good for you. If you miss someone, it's nice to be able to tell them because people who matter deserve to know that. It's possible that they may not feel the same way, because people change and this affects relationships all the time, but that shouldn't stop you from being honest about your feelings. Friendships, like any relationship, need to be cultivated and require people to work on them. If no one makes an attempt to do the heavy lifting, it won't work. Take the first step, reach out to them individually, initiate more conversations, and plan a meeting where you can all speak together. If no one makes an effort to pick up what you have started, you will know that this isn't something they value as much as you do.

I don't think my wife loves me anymore, but another woman has been chatting with me a lot and I don't know if this means she's interested in me. Should I keep chatting with her to see where this goes?
Chatting with your wife is a priority because you first need to see where this marriage is going. If there is no love, you should both talk about whether this marriage is still working before you consider speaking to anyone outside it.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com