Should I settle for a loveless marriage?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 33-year old and have been engaged to a guy for six months now. It was arranged by our parents, and we plan to get married in a year. He recently admitted to me that he is not interested in my personal life, and just wants to marry because his parents want him to settle down. He says he has no problems with me doing anything I want to and is happy to fund anything I want to do. My friends say this is great because it gives me freedom without any responsibility associated with being a wife, but I feel as if I am compromising a lot to just get permission to live a free life. I also want to be with someone who loves me and someone I want to grow old with. I can't make up my mind if I am being too romantic instead of being practical. What should I do?
You should think about what you want from marriage, not what your partner wants for himself. Freedom is great, and maybe the life he is offering you sounds amazing because it comes with no responsibilities. What you are agreeing to, however, is his version of a perfect marriage, not your own. If your parents believe this is a great match, they may not be aware of what his plans are. At the end of the day, the only people whose feelings matter are the people in a relationship, not their families or friends. Take some time to think about your own wants and expectations, and how you believe these will evolve as you get older. There is nothing wrong with being romantic, or with being practical, but make your decision with your eyes open, aware that you may feel differently a few years down the line.

My husband hates my parents. How do I get him to change?
These are all adults and, if you have done everything you can and they can't get along, you may have to accept it.

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