Should I wait till we meet?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 27-year-old woman and have been in a relationship with a guy I met online a year-and-a-half ago. He lives in another city, and we have never met in person even though we are trying to. We get along well, know a lot about each other's personal lives, and have grown very close over the past few months. He has begun to talk about our future and building a life together. My friends tell me I am being naïve because I know nothing about him, but we video chat daily, are constantly in touch, and the only thing missing is his physical presence. My friends say we have never been on a real date and that I shouldn't get close to him, but I trust him a lot and know everything about him. This clearly implies that he feels the same way about me. Should I not commit to a solid relationship until we meet in person?
Your friends care about you and are saying what anyone who cares about you will. If you are talking about building a future with someone without knowing how you both interact in real life, you are making plans without access to critical information. You may know a lot about each other's personal lives, but there is so much neither of you know about your individual personalities. You don't know how this person behaves, what he is like on a date, whether there is physical chemistry between you two, or whether he has the temperament to fit into your life and get along with people who matter to you. This may seem irrelevant but is critical when you are discussing a long-term commitment. Nothing stops you from being with him, but your friends want you to make an informed decision. If he as serious about you as you are about him, nothing should stop either of you from putting in that extra effort to meet before having any conversations about what the future may hold.

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