Wondering if we moved too fast...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I recently went out with a guy who turned out to be very nice. I enjoyed my time with him, and we decided to consider getting into a relationship. We got physically intimate a month or so after that first date, and I am starting to think it was a mistake because it feels as if things have moved too quickly. I think I should have spent more time getting to know him and even though there is nothing wrong between us, and I genuinely think we love each other and our relationship has grown, I can't help wondering if things would have been different if we had taken our time. Would he think differently of me? Would it have changed how we communicate? There have been some advantages because we are very close and have a great rapport, but I still think about how long I should have waited. Am I overthinking this or should I just let it be?
You can't help feeling the way you do, but there's also little that can be done to reverse what took place. All you should be concerned about is the current state of your relationship, and how it's going. To speculate serves no purpose because neither of you can comment on how you would treat each other if you were to both wait to get physically intimate. Focus on the positives, the fact that you are both comfortable with each other, love and respect each other, and have open lines of communication. If these things continue, you are well on your way to building a strong relationship that lasts. In the long run, that will probably be a lot more important than when you decided to get intimate.

How do I convince my boyfriend to feel more secure about us? He constantly thinks I will leave him, which is not true.
Talk about why he feels the way he does and allow him to feel that way. All you can keep doing is reassure him with your presence.

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