I want to help him if he lets me

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have a huge crush on a guy who doesn't really give me a lot of attention. He and I have been in college together for four years, and he is well-liked by a lot of other girls, but he doesn't date anyone. I have tried asking him if he's afraid of relationships, but he doesn't really talk about his personal life, and I always get the feeling he doesn't want to chat with me and does it only out of politeness. I get the sense that there is something bothering him, and I could help him come to terms with it if he would only let me into his life. How do I get this to happen? I really want to be with him and know I can make him happy. Please help.
You think you can save him or help him come to terms with something when you don't know what that is, or who he really is. You have presumably conveyed how you feel, and he has shown no interest towards you or anyone else. If someone is being clear about how they feel, and giving you no indication that you are part of their lives, why do you believe your persistence will pay off? All you can do is let him know you're interested and accept rejection if he doesn't reciprocate. There may be a million reasons why he isn't dating anyone in college. And it's possible that he may be with someone who isn't in college too. The point is, you don't know, so all you have is speculation on your part. When something isn't happening, it takes a certain kind of wisdom to acknowledge it and move on.

Should I try and get my girlfriend to change how she dresses even though she doesn't want to? I know she will look a lot better because I have a better eye for clothes, but don't want to seem too controlling.
You may be amazing, but it's her body and her choice of clothing.

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