Dr Love with Mid-Day: His family doesn’t seem to like me...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been struggling to get along with my boyfriend's family for a few months. We have been dating for a year or so, and they only recently met me because he was not sure about introducing me to them. I thought they liked me, but he told me later that they thought I was too stuck-up which was a shock to me because I went out of my way to be polite. I don't know how to correct that perception but until I do, it doesn't feel as if I am welcome at his place. They say hello and then disappear as if no one wants to talk to me. It's unfair because it's as if they don't want to get to know me and are okay with their judgements based on just one meeting. What should I do? My boyfriend says I should forget it, but it hurts me.
Your boyfriend shouldn't dismiss this because it may not seem like a big deal to him, but it matters to you and should be addressed. You can't change someone's mind if they aren't willing to put in the work, but he can certainly do more about getting them to understand you better. If they have the wrong impression, only time and effort can get them to see you from another perspective. If they aren't willing to give you that, it's unfair and your boyfriend should do more to try and rectify this. Give it time and, if nothing changes, ask yourself if this is a supportive partner who takes you seriously. His family's opinion may not matter, but yours does if this relationship is to evolve.

A guy I have been dating feels more like a friend than a boyfriend, and I don't know how to tell him this without making him feel like I'm brushing him off.
Being direct is the easiest way because it opens up the possibility of you being friends, unless he chooses to be immature about this. Tell him how you feel.

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