He is still seeing his ex-girlfriend!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

What do I do about my boyfriend who is seeing another woman? He was dating her when we met and told me that he was having problems with her at the time. I decided to go out with him assuming he would end that relationship, but we have been together for six months now, and I am just starting to feel like someone caught in a love triangle. I keep telling him to make up his mind and choose one of us, but he says he can't because that will hurt us both. I don't want to be the other woman in his life and am starting to feel trapped. What should I do?
You should walk away because the person you're with is either unwilling or uninterested in making a decision. Saying he doesn't want to hurt either of you is the easy way out because it allows him to live his life devoid of responsibilities. You have to put yourself first and question what you're getting out of this. Also, remember that a relationship that makes you feel trapped isn't one that is built on love or mutual respect. If you see red flags, trust your instinct and start taking them seriously. If he wants you in his life, your walking away may compel him to act rather than rely on false promises.

My partner only makes love to me when I initiate it, and I wonder if I am forcing myself upon him. It's clear that he doesn't enjoy physical intimacy and I don't know if I can see a future with someone like that. Should I break up with him?
Physical intimacy is a critical part of any relationship, and you should speak to him about this if it has brought you to this point. If he wants to make this work, you should both consider speaking to a counsellor. If he rejects that option, it points to a lack of respect because he is wilfully denying something you would like from this relationship.

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