He shares all our issues with friends

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend has an annoying habit of sharing all our issues with his friends and I can't understand why this cannot be resolved between us. He doesn't tell me everything that he tells them, but whenever we meet, they somehow seem to know about everything that is going wrong in our relationship. I have told him how uncomfortable I am with this, and he says it's normal because they talk about their own relationships too. He says it's healthy for him because it allows him to find some clarity when it comes to things that are bothering him. I disagree and have decided that if he doesn't stop doing this, I will end this. He thinks I am being unreasonable, but I can't stand the idea of his friends knowing about my life. Am I being difficult?
You're not being difficult and shouldn't accept the accusation of being unreasonable if you believe your personal life is on the line. Boundaries are meant to be established by both partners, and you have been clear about what yours are. If he can't respect them, he isn't being respectful towards you, and that can't work in any relationship after a point. He may have perfectly valid reasons for wanting advice from his friends, but if you believe he is sharing information that is meant to stay between the confines of your relationship with him, it isn't okay and nothing he says can justify that.

I'm afraid I was boring on a date with someone I really like, and don't know how to fix this. I am sure he won't ask me out again and I really want him to because I thought he was amazing. What should I do?
You can ask him out instead, and be honest about what you thought didn't work. If he is sensible enough to not judge you on the basis of one evening, he will accept the idea of meeting you again. If he doesn't, think of it as dodging a bullet and move on.

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