I thought we’d be more than friends

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 27-year-old and have been friends with a guy since we were in school. He is one of my closest friends and I always believed we would stay together for the rest of our lives. After we graduated from college, I began to get closer to him and started to think of him differently. I began to have romantic feelings towards him, and thought he would reciprocate because of how well we knew each other. I didn't say a word about this to him because I thought it would be obvious and that we would get into a relationship quite naturally. A few weeks ago, he told me that he is getting engaged to someone and it feels as if my whole world has shifted. Apparently, it is arranged by his parents, and he says he has no problems with this because he met the girl and likes her. I don't know what to do. Should I tell him about my feelings now and see what happens, or just assume he was never interested in anything more than a friendship with me? If I don't say a word, at least I can still have him in my life. What do I do?
If he wanted you to be more than a friend, the kind of relationship you have both shared for so long would have made it easy for him to mention it. The fact that he is willingly making a lifelong commitment with someone he doesn't really know proves that you both saw your friendship from different perspectives. Nothing stops you from still having this conversation with him if you want to, because it shouldn't get in the way of your future as friends. You will have to do it with an open mind though, knowing that it is possible he won't reciprocate, given that he has decided to marry someone else. It may cause you pain but, at the very least, you will finally be able to tell him what's on your mind.

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