Is it odd that we don’t meet often?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend and I usually meet once or twice a month, which my friends believe is not normal. We have busy schedules, and I would meet him more often if I could, but he can't make more time for me and has been very clear about that. We have been dating for over a year and neither of us has a problem with this arrangement because it has worked for us until now. I am starting to worry about the future though, because if we get more serious, I think he should reconsider his priorities and make more time for me and for us to grow together. Should I insist on this or just tell him how I feel and see if he agrees? I don't want to unnecessarily cause issues when there aren't any at the moment.
If this works for you both, what your friends have to say is irrelevant. If you want to spend more time with him and get to know each other better, that is always a great idea and should be discussed without fear of repercussions. What appears to be stability can also mean stagnation if your relationship doesn't evolve. This doesn't have to be a rule set in stone, but there's nothing wrong with talking about how you can both do more to prioritise the other's presence. It makes for a healthier, stronger relationship.

I have been dating a guy who is five years younger, and I get the feeling that his friends disapprove of this. I sense that they make jokes about us and don't know if they tell him that this is wrong. He never acknowledges their comments, but I'm sure it affects him. What do I do about it?
If your partner is clear about how he feels and doesn't have any insecurities about being with someone older, any comments made by someone outside this relationship are of little importance. You should be fine as long as the two of you keep lines of communication open.

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