Is this worth pursuing?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 29-year old woman in a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend is two years older, and this has been our situation for over a year. I think I am the only one holding this together, because I am the only one working hard to make sure there is some semblance of normalcy between us. If I don't take the trouble of setting a time for us to catch up, for example, he won't think of it. If I don't insist on sharing what's going on in my personal and professional life, and ask him to do the same, he will be happy with just casual conversations. I sometimes ask myself if it's worth this trouble. If he doesn't do more, am I fooling myself into being with someone who doesn't really care?
No relationship can work with just one person doing the heavy lifting, so you're right to question everything about this. I suggest you come clean on how you feel, ask him how he sees this relationship, and what he thinks of you. If he says he wants this to work, insist on things he will need to do, and watch how seriously he takes them. If nothing changes, and he keeps taking you for granted, this can only end in heartbreak. In that case, the sooner you get out and move on, the better. You deserve to get as much as you put into any relationship.

My boyfriend recently told me that he doesn't see our relationship working out. He says he doesn't want to waste my time, but I don't know if he means this. What if he wants me to try harder to get this to work? What should I do?
When someone is telling you exactly how they feel, your refusal to take them at face value says more about you than it does about them. If he doesn't want to be with you, forcing him to because you think you should work on it will only lead to sadness and resentment.

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