Should I divorce my wife?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 54-year old married man with no children. I have been thinking of divorcing my wife because we don't really have a marriage and haven't had one in 10 years. We have only been together out of force of habit because we rely on each other and need companionship. I have begun to question whether this is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, and the answer is no. I don't love her, I know she doesn't love me, and this is just a marriage of convenience because we are afraid of growing old alone. I want to get a divorce but am sure she will blackmail me emotionally into staying, which I want to avoid. The longer I postpone this, the harder it will be for me to leave. What is the best way for me to deal with the situation?
You can start by telling her what's on your mind and explain why you don't see a way out. Why assume she will blackmail you emotionally without being open and direct about your intentions? If you want a divorce, you have access to legal remedies. Emotional blackmail isn't an obstacle in the face of the law. Why not explain why this is a sensible approach, list the pros and cons for you both, and ask her to think about it before pre-empting any difficulties? She may have the same idea, and it may simply be a question of poor communication that is in the way.

My boyfriend recently told me that he wanted to break up because staying single was better for his mental health. I don't know what he means by this because it's not as if I am harming him in some way. Should I ask him to take some time off instead?
You can ask him to elaborate first, and find out how you are responsible, if at all. If he doesn't want to make this work, ending it may be better for your mental health too.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com