Should I just tell him how I feel?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I like a male colleague at work, but I also know that he is dating another colleague of mine. Still, I have caught him looking at me a few times and am sure he finds me interesting. I just don't know what to do or how to pursue this because it is an office, and he is not single. I don't know how serious he is about this other woman, and I am not looking for something long-term either. Should I just tell him how I feel and see what happens? If it means he won't speak to me again, I am okay with that too. At the very least, I will get this out of my system and, if he feels the same way, I may be able to get into a relationship with him. Is this a good idea?
You want to know if it's a good idea to approach someone who is clearly in a relationship, because part of you already acknowledges that this is not an ideal scenario. If there were no complications, you would have arrived at an answer on your own. There are too many variables here, starting with the fact that this is your workplace, and compounded by his relationship with another colleague. It may be okay to deal with whatever happens by telling him how you feel, but there is always a chance of things working out in a smoother manner when there are fewer hurdles in the way. If he is with someone, you are causing her pain by reaching out to him without her knowledge. If you are comfortable doing that, maybe you should ask him out for a cup of coffee and see if he accepts. If he does, you may get a better idea of where things stand between him and his partner, while giving him an idea of the fact that you are interested in him. There is no easy way around this though, so you should be mentally prepared for anything that might happen.

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