Want to break up with him. But how?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been trying to end a relationship with my boyfriend for a few months but, whenever we have that conversation, he changes his behaviour completely and makes it very difficult for me to break up. It makes me confused because I have thought about this very carefully, but always seem to change my mind because he is so good at manipulating my emotions. This is one of the reasons why I want to end it in the first place, and I just don't how to go about it. He's a nice person, but I know he's not good for me in the long run. My friends think I should just stop communicating with him, but I don't think that's a good idea because he can be very vindictive and may do or say something horrible about me behind my back. I feel trapped. How do I get out of this?
You seem to have all the reasons you need, and it's obvious your friends believe this is not a good relationship either. If you know he is being manipulative, you should also know that you are being taken for granted. When you talk about him manipulating you, it is a sign of disrespect that only prevents you from being with someone who treats you better. You owe it to yourself. As for fear of how vindictive he may be, if you have genuine cause for worry, I urge you to speak to a family member or an older relative you trust, so they are aware of why you feel the way you do. It may feel as if you're trapped for now, but there will obviously come a time when you simply won't be able to communicate with him because your inability to end this will turn to resentment. That will just be uglier, so I suggest you write down how you feel, send him this message, and ask him to respect your decision. If that doesn't work, ask for time off until you feel strong enough.

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