Want to change her view of me...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 25-year-old guy and have been in love with a girl I used to go to college with. We have been friends for a few years, but not close friends, and I want to change that. She isn't aware of my feelings because I have not said anything, but she has an impression about me that makes me feel she won't reciprocate if I tell her what's on my mind. I want her to get to know me better because that may allow her to see me in a different light. How do I go about this? I want her to have feelings for me, too, and don't know what to do about changing her mind.
When you say you want her to see you differently, do you have any idea about why you feel she doesn't like this version of you? If you know her well enough to understand that she may not consider the idea of being with you, does it tell you something about who she is and what she likes? If you aren't close friends, the only way to change that is to try and spend more time together because opening up and being comfortable with someone is a slow process and may not be as easy for her as it may be for you. Take this one step at a time, try and understand her better, and give her a chance to see your authentic self instead of trying to manufacture a version that you think she may prefer. A relationship built on inauthenticity will always have an end date, so try and prevent that from happening if you genuinely care about this person.

Is it normal for a guy to ask a woman to pay her share on a second date? He paid the first time, and I am not sure if this is a message that he isn't as serious about me.
If you have questions about this, you should ask them because you have nothing to lose.

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