Was I harsh in blocking her?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Am I being too harsh by blocking my ex-girlfriend completely just because we had a bad break-up? I don't want to message her or see her posts on social media. We were together for almost four years and were considering marriage, which is why this has been particularly painful for me. I don't want to be petty, even though it will seem like I am, but this is about protecting myself and my mental health. I can't stand the idea of seeing what she is up to or what she is doing, because it just reminds me of what we had and no longer have. I have been struggling with our break-up for six months which is why I decided to do this. My friends say I am only causing myself more pain by not being mature, but they don't understand how difficult it is for me to respond to any messages from her. What should I do?
Do what helps you manage your pain and accept that the grieving process can take as long as it does. Your friends won't understand this because they're not dealing with the end of a long relationship, so give them that benefit of doubt and trust yourself to make decisions that are right for you and your mental health. This is a difficult time for you as well as your ex-girlfriend, and she will undoubtedly have her own way of coping with what happened. In time, when you're strong enough to think about this situation with objectivity, you can always reconsider and reach out to explain your actions. You can also send her a message explaining why you need to do this, because that may cause you both less pain. Either way, do what you have to, and make a decision about staying in touch when you think you're ready to act upon it. Until that happens, take as much time as you need to heal and do the things that you believe can help you put this pain behind you.

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