Dr Love with Mid-Day: Don’t know how to ask for a divorce...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I want a divorce but don't know how to bring the subject up without causing serious drama in my household. My family will not support me, and my partner will probably go out of his way to make my life difficult, but living with him is no longer an option because it's causing me a lot of stress on a daily basis. I have given this careful thought and am ready for all consequences, but I think framing it in the right way may make it easier for the process to unfold without making life harder. How do I do this without causing further turmoil in my life?
There's no easy way to announce the end of a relationship irrespective of how you think this should go. If this is causing you pain, you have to do what is best for you and remind yourself of the big picture. If you are prepared for consequences and are sure you will have to deal with this alone, the sooner you initiate it, the more time you will have to adjust and get to a point where you are ready to move on to the next phase of your life. Sit down with your partner, explain where you're coming from, and hope that you can come to a resolution with the least amount of fuss if you can explain why that is in your best interests. He needs to understand the message without ambiguity, so try being as clear as possible.

My girlfriend is going away to another city for her studies and I'm afraid she might end her relationship with me. What should I do?
If someone really wants to end a relationship, for any reason, they have the right to. You can't do anything about what she might or might not do, but focusing on building trust in the present can make your relationship stronger. If you're afraid she might leave, you're not in a position of security, which is what you need to acknowledge and start addressing.

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